I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
