he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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