Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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