my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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