so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Barsexuality is the new black.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
