Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
