Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
