Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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