I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
only if we run a train.
done.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
