So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
