Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
