He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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