I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
