I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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