Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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