Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
