My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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