I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
