So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
