Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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