Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
