Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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