Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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