WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Someone came in the potted fern
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
