I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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