wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
