She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
