Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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