I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
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