So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
