I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
