ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
