my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
this hospital has no fireball
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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