i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
