we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
