Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize