You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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