Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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