O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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