pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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