If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
