I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
