Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize