there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
