its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
