kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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