My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize