Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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