Me too!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize