And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
