Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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