did you get engaged???
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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