Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
