I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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