I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
