my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
