HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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