Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
