You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
