Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
