I've blown a few things in my day
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
