Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
did i walk over a car last night?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I can't put those talents on a resume
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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